The Sophomore.

***

Tonight I'll be writing on my classcards, filling in the 'classification' part with 'sophomore'.

I don't know if I'm feeling it exactly. Not quite. I feel like my entire college life will fly by after I've passed the Freshman mark--that's how I felt about high school. And I still have a lot to think about, options, options...but that's a whole other matter and will soak up an entire blog-post by itself.

Instead I'm going to write about what my freshman year was, because it did happen, and it happened to me. Well duh! But anyway, that in itself, deserves a post.

It was the Opening Convocation for us freshies when someone (I forgot who, unfortuanately) said:

"It is easier to get out of UP, then to get into it."

 Thus, further confirming one of my fears, after years of the university's reputation preceding it. Having come from parents who are both Socio graduates from UP Elbi, I guess it was always a path I could take. And I did. Regretting it comes much later.

Also I was scared of upperclassmen. I'd heard rumors that they would give you the wrong directions if you asked them for it, or that they would block you from passing however invisible you try to become. The day of my campus tour I'd heard an older girl sort of half-ranting, half-showing off to her friends. If I remember correctly what she said was:

"Wala akong pakialam sa mga ******-***** freshmen na yan! **** eh kanina nga sa pila tinitignan ko sila, **** sabi ko, itong isa mabubuntis, itong isa, dalawang sem lang yan dito!"

So I stuck to my own kind from then, except when I had met upperclassmen who disproved the theory that when you're no longer a UP newbie you become an ass.

Me and Kuya Jay, who's an incoming junior (?) and who's really approachable and helpful. The dude gave me crackers (he gave everyone crackers, lol) on our last Psy 1 class. But mine had a dedication that went: "Thanks for being my friend." I went D'aww.

***

Freshman year, what do you expect? Lots of bloopers. I think expecting troubles attracts them, if ever that were possible. It's like you turn into a magnet for Things Going Wrong, even though you try to keep your cool. Like I had this one day when everything went wrong, and I went home feeling like shit (because that, plus rain, plus a sometimes annoyingly huge campus is shit-guaranteed).

Also, some days after my birthday, I ended up with a cake. It was a really sweet gesture from this friend I made from Campus Crusade for Christ (though I'm not exactly pro-active about the thing), but I had to carry it almost all day around campus. And although I deeply appreciated it, I felt weird stares boring into my back. Yeah, it sucks not to have an on-campus home (also when you have to bring extra clothes or props or laptops). So, in the end, I let some of my blocmates devour it.

I also had awkward jeepney moments, including riding one only to find that you've ended up in the same spot you first were. Up till now, I still have to familiarize with those freaking routes.

But I guess my worst blooper has to be in the main library with those catalogs, looking for freaking Reading Into Writing 1 for English 1.

So, I went to the Reserve Section at the UPLB MainLib, and crossed a boundary that should not be crossed. Turns out I was beginning to look for the book in a staff-only section and that you weren't supposed to go looking for it yourself, you have to tell them. I looked like an idiot because the dude in the library was so loud. He was like, "Oh! Anong ginagawa mo dito? Dun ka lang sa labas!"

And then we went through this embarrassing how-to dialogue about borrowing. He sent me to the card catalogs. And I brought one card to their desk, the one for the book I needed. And then he proceeded to yell at me. "Bakit mo pinunit yan! Ay naku, ibalik mo yan dun!" There were a lot of tsks.

I didn't freaking tear the card out of the catalog! It was like that when I got there. Some other kid must have done it. I told him so, but I still looked like the idiot. Especially since there were other people there, who kept glancing up from their books/laptops to see my shame. Ha, ha.

I didn't go to that section for a while. I was glad to notice that the dudes were kind of old. Maybe they wouldn't remember me.

That and about fifty more errors make up the bad part of my freshman year, but hey, you know what they say about mistakes...

***

The learning is superb, I guess that's why there's the whole "Others" joke. Because, really, you're encouraged to think beyond what you normally would. You're encouraged to push farther, close enough to nosebleed territory.

There were so many times in my classes that I felt that. Like, Okay, now I understand all the hype. Regardless of some of our profs actually moulding our minds to think that way, I mean.

Don't get me wrong though. College brought out the monster sloth in me, it got so bad that I failed a test that was apparently relatively easy. I've never really failed a major test before, you see.

So Dear UP, you may make me want to tear my hair out sometimes, but thank you for the torture, because of what it does to my brain and to my nationalistic soul. 


***


Here is the best part.

I was hoping, before I got here, that my mom was wrong when she said college friends are the ones who last. I'm hoping both do. High school friends are chums I'd want to keep forever. But I feel the same way about my blocmates and UP friends.

Each one is awesome in his own way. I have a feeling that even when I discover their bad parts I'll still love them because they'd do the same for me. And because a picture does this cliche thing about painting more words than I can bear to type, here are a few:

I'll miss Pol Sci 10 shockers, Coop breakfasts, before-Soc 10 gatherings, the epic toss-coin-influenced lunches, our damayan for impossibly hard requirements, the sis-terrrr! calls, Tim's freaking book, shirt design failures, the picture-taking, and just everything. 

You guys make me wish for block-sectioning.

I love you all. Okay, turning off the mush.

***

I'm not ready to say goodbye to summer, either, but I must. But I console myself with this: I promise I won't let this be the end of the things I love doing. Requirements will NOT get in the way, grades won't either. 

I will do things, and I will make sophomore year a good one.

So Goodbye Freshman Year. Goodbye Summer. I'll miss you.